Hey boys, bust out those speedos and start hitting the gym because Manhunt wants to give you tickets to the 25th Anniversary of White Party Week in Miami. One Winner and a guest will receive:

• 1 pair of VIP tickets to The 25th Anniversary of White Party at Vizcaya
• 1 year of Manhunt Unlimited Membership

Manhunt Unlimited Members, send an e-mail with your screen name, legal name, address and phone number to WhiteParty@Manhunt.net.

Not a Manhunt member? Go to www.manhunt.net and register for an account. Make sure to select the Unlimited Membership option, then follow the instructions above.

Contest ends Midnight EST on November 24th 2009. Prize package valued at $599.00. Must be over 21 to enter. Winner will be announced on November 25th 2009.

Good Luck!

Read the official sweepstakes rules here.

Hey Dr. Queerlove,

I’m a young guy, (22) recent graduate. I work out and have a nice body. Told I’m cute. So, why can’t I find a guy? When I was in school it was easy. Now I’m in a bigger city and it’s surprisingly hard. I can get a number, but if I call or text there is no response, or maybe some conversation then I never hear from the guy again. I’m told I can be a little aggressive but I feel if I wasn’t I wouldn’t be able to go up to guys in the first place.

How do I approach a guy and keep him interested beyond a one night stand? I know I’m only 22, but a lot of my straight college friends are getting married or have been in long term relationships. I’m tired of hook-ups. What can I do?

Sincerely,

Looking for Love in Detroit

LLD,

When people actively look for a relationship, I have noticed that they rarely find what they seek. Primarily for two reasons. First, wanting a boyfriend so ardently clouds your judgment. People who obsess about romantic involvement (always wonder why they’re single, notice people who are not, ask what’s wrong with themselves, etc.) tend to either be too picky and end up missing a number of opportunities for good dating, or they aren’t discriminating enough and put up with a beeper salesman that lives with his mother because “there’s something about him.” Secondly, when people are on the hunt for an LTR, any sign of a relationship makes them jump three, five or thirty steps ahead. This, inevitably, will scare some guys away.

Unfortunately, the best way to get into a serious relationship is to not look for it, and let it happen organically (no pun intended). Your mental state is imperative. Don’t look for a long term relationship. Look for a few casual dates. And they are different. One is the cart, the other is the horse. When your mind is in relationship seeking mode you set expectations for the situation. You judge a date on whether you can see yourself with this guy, as opposed to if you want to catch a movie next week. Dating is casual and inconsequential; setting little to no expectation. “Can I sit through another meal with this guy?” “Is he interesting to talk to?” Not “Will my friends like him?” “I wonder where he wants to live in 5 years?”

Furthermore—and to me this is the biggest thing—when someone tells me they really want a long-term relationship, what I hear is “I am not happy with myself.” It has been my experience that people who seek a partner, versus those who get into relationships because they just happen, are looking for someone to love them. Which means they don’t love themselves enough (didn’t know the Doctor was so touchy-feely, did ya?). If you need a relationship to make you feel like your life is complete, then you are in need of something far more valuable than a boyfriend.

And, you’re only 22! I hear you acknowledge your youth and respect your mature desire for partnership, but—and listen to me on this—your twenties are not the time to bog yourself down in a long-term relationship. Your straight friends who are getting married are, unfortunately, incredibly likely to get divorced. That’s just a fact. And the heterosexual culture in the South and Mid-west fosters an outdated 1950’s sentiment that encourages marriage at an early age.

Without trying to be condescending, in your early twenties you have no idea who you will be (trust me! Lord knows I thought I did). You grow exponentially over the next 10 years. The person you are now will be nothing like the person you will be in 7, or even 3 years. You cannot say you want to spend the rest of your life with someone when neither of you really know what your life will be.

This will one day hit your married friends and they’ll realize they spent their youth playing house. I would rather marry the love of my life when I’m 40, than marry someone who I really think will be the love of my life when I’m 25, only to be single and start dating all over again when I’m 45. There’s nothing wrong with dating in your 40’s, but it is easier to date in your twenties. And, if you have found the love of your life at 25, then they’ll be there when you’re 35. Marry them then.

In regards to meeting good men, it’s not likely to happen at a bar or nightclub. You want men of substance, then do substantial things. Join a sports group, book club, volunteer organization, etc. Have friends introduce you to people. Say hello to someone at the bookstore or café. Not to say quality men don’t go to bars, but picking someone up at a bar has an intrinsic one-night-stand feel. It’s just the truth. And if you do meet someone at a bar, don’t go home with them!

Also, stop being aggressive. Be assertive. There’s a difference between being confident and casual and being overwhelming and tenacious. Know when to gracefully step away, and don’t let failed attempts get to you (which I know is easier said than done). The fact that you dote on men not calling you back tells me you invest too much too early.

To wrap up this dissertation, my advice to you is “be single.” Stop looking. For six months don’t date, hook up, grab drinks, phone sex, cuddle – whatever. You need to learn to be happy alone; which means not longing or desiring something, but reaching full contentment within yourself.

Once you get there, I’m willing to bet that men will come to you.

DISCLAIMER: Dr. Queerlove is not a doctor, of any kind. Not even a Ph.D. in Women’s Studies. So if you follow his advice and end up bruised, impotent and alone, you can’t sue us… because we’re telling you right here that you can’t.

Read more, including what David S. Novak, Senior Public Health Strategist at MANHUNT, said about the video.

Confidential Online STD Testing Clinic, getSTDtested.com, Introduces ‘Edu-Tainment” for STD Prevention as Social Networking Changes Dating Scene

CHICAGO and CAMBRIDGE, Mass., August 25 /PRNewsire/ — getSTDTested.com, the industry’s first online confidential clinic to use Web 2.0 technology that exclusively focuses on the awareness, testing, and destigmitization of sexual transmitted diseases, is launching a series of avatar and physician-based videos to help consumers navigate its website, learn from medical professionals and better understand their overall risks and testing options. Visit www.getSTDtested.com/manhuntcares & Read more.

By Michele Clark

The 2009 National HIV Prevention Conference is reaching over 3,500 of our colleagues in Atlanta this week.

By Michele Clark

The 2009 National HIV Prevention Conference is reaching over 3,500 of our colleagues in Atlanta this week. Thanks to conference organizers, this year’s highlights are shared to those unable to attend via Twitter: CDC NPIN , AIDS.gov , and others are tweeting with the hashtag #NHPC09 . CDC also provides conference participants with text message updates , and videotaped many of the presentations to broaden reach (CDC NPIN should have these posted around September 7th).

Miguel Gomez, AIDS.gov Director, presents at NHPC09

This morning, AIDS.gov Director Miguel Gomez presented on the plenary panel, “Advances in HIV Prevention Science and Technology.” The AIDS.gov presentation focused on how the HIV community can adopt new media tools to further their work. Miguel said, “we have a responsibility to learn about new media—to learn what clients are doing online, what new media is, and how to fit it into our overall HIV prevention planning.”

Specific new media innovations were described after the plenary during an AIDS.gov-sponsored panel, moderated by Michelle Samplin-Salgado, “Voices from the Public and Private Sector on Using New Media in Response to HIV/AIDS.” Oriol Gutierrez, Jr., Deputy Editor, POZ , shared his experiences using a blog : Find the balance between personal and professional commentary and keep posts regular to sustain audience engagement. Erik Ireland, Digital Content Manager, San Francisco AIDS Foundation (SFAF), discussed lessons of using podcasts to further SFAF’s mission : Take the time to think about why you are interested in using podcasts and create ways to make it easy for people to access to your podcast. David Novak, Senior Public Health Strategist, Online Buddies, Inc. , summarized STI partner notification (PDF) and evidence-based online behavioral video dissemination on Manhunt Cares in his presentation. Andrew Woodruff, Program Director, ISIS , presented on ISIS’ experience using text messaging to reach youth with sexual health information through SexInfo and Hookup .

Michelle Samplin-Salgado, Erik Ireland, Oriol Gutierrez, Jr., David Novak, Andrew Woodruff.

These experiences added to other innovative new media programs we heard about on a panel yesterday, “Learning in Real Time: A Hands-On Approach to Using New Media in Response to HIV/AIDS.” Here, Michael LeFlam, CDC, presented a comprehensive overview of new media tool use. Alex Barros, Alaskan AIDS Assistance Association , presented about PowerON —an Internet HIV prevention program designed to reach MSM. Francisco Roque, Gay Men’s Health Crisis , talked about a web and video campaign targeting young MSM . Dr. Marguerita Lightfoot , UCLA, described the process of developing and implementing HIV prevention computer games for high-risk youth.

After hearing new media presentations—are you ready to translate ideas into action for your program? If you are at the conference, check out the Social Media Lab in Hyatt Room 219—a hands-on opportunity for programs to learn about using new media for their programs. We plan to share stories from the Social Media Lab after the conference.

Send us your comments to the presentations, and any lessons on using new media to reach your audiences with HIV prevention messages.