2011 – A Good Year to be Gay

via theguardian, by Aaron Hicklin

A funny thing happened in America in 2011. With the US political establishment in deadlock and Republicans bowing to Tea Party mandarins over a raft of issues from immigration to curbs on trade unions, one area of American civil liberties celebrated a watershed year.

After decades in which gay rights have polarised US opinion, the country barely shrugged in September when a two-decade old law prohibiting gay men and women from serving openly in the military was finally repealed, prompting thousands of gay soldiers to post coming-out videos on YouTube – just one more example of how the web has transformed gay visibility.

Less than two months earlier New York became the sixth, and biggest, state to allow same-sex couples to marry.

To put that in context, there are more people living in New York than in the Netherlands, which in 2001 became the first country to legalise same-sex marriage.

The struggle for marriage equality has been one of the most bitterly divisive issues in America, but after a series of defeats for gay-rights advocates, the tide appears to be shifting irrevocably in their direction.

A series of national polls this year has shown support for same-sex unions outgunning opposition for the first time since polling on the issue began in the 1980s – a dramatic turnaround from even three years earlier, when voters in California approved a ballot measure overturning same-sex marriage.

In the 2004 election, under the keen encouragement of Karl Rove, no fewer than 11 states passed ballot initiatives banning gay marriage — a cynical get-out-the-vote ploy that helped swell Republican ranks at the polling booths.

The perception that marriage equality was a poisoned pink chalice persisted up to the 2008 election, when even Obama was careful to clarify that he wasn’t in favour of gay marriage, apparently heeding warnings from Bill Clinton to give the issue a wide berth.

Yet in this year’s debates between the ragtag pack of Republican presidential nominees, the usual rhetoric denouncing gay marriage has been noticeably absent.

Even Obama, facing precarious odds for a second term, has said that he favours repealing the notorious Defense of Marriage Act that has prevented federal recognition of gay marriages, even those performed in states where they are legal.

What changed in those few short years? In many ways the transformation of attitudes has been ongoing for decades, accelerated in large part by the impact of Aids, which reconfigured gay identity around community and relationships.

In TV shows such as Glee and Modern Family, gays are no longer comic stooges or punchlines, their relationships treated with the same respect as those of their straight counterparts.

Read more.

Read more on LifeLube.

A Gay Marriage Etiquette Guide

via Gawker, By Brian Moylan

I have everything I need. Now it’s time to get hitched!

For those who don’t want to go through all the fuss, there’s going to be a free pop-up chapel in Central Park on July 30th that will be giving out the quickie weddings that heterosexual couples who visit Vegas have been rubbing in our faces for decades. But for the rest of you who want to figure out how to have your own elaborate affair, it’s going to take more than just planning, but problem solving as well.

If you’re a heterosexual man or woman, what you’re supposed to do and when has been determined by centuries of social norms. While many gay people will want to maintain many of the traditions they’re used to seeing at straight weddings, it’s often hard to translate things that are designed for opposite-sex couples to two people of the same sex. Here are some suggestions on what to keep and what to ditch.

The Proposal

The man is supposed to get down on one knee and offer the woman a ring, right? At least that’s the way it happens on The Bachelor. What to do if you’re on an episode of The Confirmed Bachelor? I think it’s fine for either partner to ask.

You can’t say that the butch or the top should do the proposing, because we know it’s the femme or the bottom who wears the pants in the relationship—most of the time anyway. So whoever gets to it first gets to do the proposing. Expect to see “Sheila, Will You Marry Me? Love Debbie” on the Jumbotron at every Giants home game next season.

Read more on LifeLube or Gawker.

via AIDSmeds, by David Evans

A forthcoming research report suggests a number of personal lubricants can damage anal tissue cells and increase HIV replication, potentially heightening the risk of contracting HIV, notably if condoms aren’t used.

The “personal lubricant” market is a thriving one. One popular website sells 53 different brands, with many boasting several varieties. If you’d like one that tastes like fruit or chocolate, or adds the sensation of heat, you’ve got multiple options to choose from. The same goes for the degree of slipperiness, the type of sex you want to have, the ease of cleanup and, most important, condom compatibility.

What sexual accoutrement retailers can’t tell you is whether a lube will increase, decrease or have no effect on your chance of becoming infected with HIV if the condom breaks or you decide not to use a condom in the first place. Until recently, it wasn’t a question high on the list of researchers’ or manufacturers’ priorities—lubes are intended to keep condoms from tearing during sex, end of story. But for scientists at the Population Council, a New York City–based research organization at the forefront of HIV microbicide development efforts, the positive or negative effects of lubricants on HIV transmission has been a nagging issue for years.

New research results from the nonprofit organization suggest there may be reasons for concern. According to laboratory studies the group conducted—on schedule to be published in a forthcoming issue of AIDS Research and Human Retroviruses and currently available online—a large number of popular lubes may actually make it easier for HIV to get past the body’s defenses, notably during anal sex without a condom. Even more alarming is the finding that four lubes in particular cause HIV to reproduce up to four times faster than it does in the absence of such products.

Read more.

Read the Q&A on Lube Safety produced by IRMA – International Rectal Microbicide Advocates.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cWwpKMFHZo

Watch Varla Jean Merman on Manhunt Cares!