Partner Abuse
Intimate Partner Abuse / Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence can sometimes be a misleading term. It has led many people to think of abusive relationships as having only a physically violent component and taking place in the home. Although both these things may be true in some cases overall it’s misleading and misses the bigger picture. Intimate partner abuse (IPA) is another term for it and more accurately describes the realities that can occur in abusive relationships.
So What Exactly Is It?
Intimate Partner Abuse (IPA) is when one person systematically abuses another to gain power and control in an intimate relationship. The word systematic implies that the abuse is ongoing and is a pattern of abusive behavior and not a one-time incident. The word intimate refers to any type of relationship that has a ‘trusting’ component to it. This can be someone you are dating, a person that you have an emotional or physical relationship with (whether monogamous or open). It can also refer to a roommate, sibling or caregiver and it can be someone who you share a living space with or not.
Does It Affect the GLBTQ Community?
Yes. Approximately 1 in 4 GLBTQ people experience intimate partner abuse in their lifetime. This is roughly the same rate as reported in heterosexual relationships and indicates that IPA is not specifically about your sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression, it’s about one person using a series of abusive tactics to gain power and control over another and this can happen in any type of relationship.
Am I Being Abused?
Every relationship is different and most relationships have their hard times with arguments, disagreements and quarreling. IPA is about using abusive tactics to get control at the expense of another person. IPA is not just physical abuse it can also be emotional, financial, sexual and or cultural abuse too. Some examples include:
Emotional Abuse: lying, undermining, humiliation, monitoring whereabouts, threats.
Physical Abuse: hitting, punching, choking, withholding medications for hormones/HIV.
Sexual Abuse: rape, forcing sex, exposure to HIV or STI’s not respecting sexual limits.
Financial Abuse: controlling money & resources, forcing to live above means, stealing.
Cultural/Identity Abuse: threat of outing sexual orientation, gender identity, S/M practices, or HIV status of a partner or using someone’s race, class, age, immigration status, religion, size, physical ability, language against them.
Where Can I Get More Information?
GMDVP has trained advocates and operates a 24-hour hotline service; you can reach them at (800) 832-1901 to ask questions, discuss concerns, to develop safety plans or to find local support services in your area. GMDVP advocates are here and ready to help.
To learn more about Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project’s programs and services, click here!