MANHUNT Daily: Do You Believe In Monogamy?
Can gay men (or any men for that matter) successfully practice monogamy? I’ve argued with plenty of folks on this matter, and they suggested that the concept of having one partner is “puritanical”. From their point of view, it’s natural for men to cheat, so why set yourself up for disappointment? They also debated that love and sex are two separate things, and you can devote yourself to someone romantically while still having no-strings-attached fun on the side.
Now I’m not implying that this model could work for some people. If you’re in a perfectly functional open relationship, more power to you! But for someone to imply that monogamy won’t work for me just because it doesn’t work for them? I’m not buying it. How about you?
–Dewitt (MANHUNT Daily Blogger)
It’s OK for most people but the one I find enjoy more and get more out of life if 3-6 men all living loving and being a happy family i had two husbands for 5 years they both died from massive heart faller within 2 days of each other and I would put a family together like this pretty soon two people cant be everything for each other and with a divers family I had we had a blast and I couldn’t think of only one man in my life but we wold all be monogamous to the family no eating at strange restraints so say
frankbottom@yahoo.com
I think its the only way to have a relationship. I have been cheated on so many times. I know somewhere out there, there is a man that wants the same thing I do. I want 100& honesty and monogamy.
I agree with you totally. I am only looking for that one man to make me happy. Once I find him, I won’t be looking to cheat on him.
The key is as you say, what works for one doesn’t imply it works for another. What is important is acceptance. I accept my monogamous friends – they accept that I am not. I equate men (gay or not) to the animal kingdom. Check out the males of most species – they’re trying to get laid. Why? Their genetic code tells them to.
It is about species propagation. What is interesting to me is that it has been documented that during overpopulation phases in some species the animals will “go gay”. Same as us – I think we’re genetically coded this way for a reason…too bad the religious right thinks they’re better than nature in figuring out what is best!
I can sum up my feelings on monogamy by ripping off a line from the movie “The Mask” – paraphrased – ‘monogamy, what is that, some type of wood?’
BTW – I am 50 and have been in two relationships. 16 years and the current 10 year one which should continue as long as he is willing to continue to accept my ways as I am accepting of his. He was very Catholic when we met and was terrified of me having even so much as a quick wank with someone. Yesterday we had a small orgy including two hot 20 year olds we met on manhunt. Progress is being made!
I love the fantasy of monogamy but I would rather not loss of a trust in something it seems that two can never totally agree on. I think like frankbottom in that in a monogamous group sounds more ideal cause there is freedom in a somewhat controlled environment
One partner is all it should take to make anyone complete. Trust and love does conquer all no matter what the differences. Be open with each other about your fantasies so your partner does know you needs and wants. If you aren’t happny in a relationship then you should end it. It is that simple.
All you need to make you complete is yourself. If you need someone else to make your complete then I’m sorry to say you have issues that need resolving. In my experience anyone who has said “you make me complete” has turned out to have commitment issues and emotional baggage, as well as a lot of preconceptions about what a relationship should be and get very frustrated when it doesn’t turn out that way.
Even so, all you need to be a complete person is yourself. The idea of someone completing you is a nice romantic idea, but the reality of it is a little disconcerting.
right on!
Will i do agree 100% on what Ron Coder is saying there ! Why cheat or be dishonest in your relationship ! If u did not like the guy for Love and just sex u should end it 100% ! Thats saying you can’t trust yourself not only with your mate but everyone as i see it ! life is simple if u make it simple and it can be hard other wise . The way i see it eighter u like being a slut or don’t know what u want its that simple. Why hurt other if they want Love >thats why so many are left in the dark from trust! Got my drift !
It’s a question of maturity and respect in my opinion. There are too many young (and older) gay men who don’t respect themselves and so can’t respect anyone else which is why I think there is such a problem with gay men maintaining a monogamous relationship.
I don’t personally believe that monogamy is right for anyone, to me it’s a sort of ownership and control which to earlier cultures was either implicit in the marriage contract or the reason monogamy was avoided.
To me it’s healthier to be with someone because you care about them deeply / love them and want to be with them while you share you lives, but not to have the ownership aspect of relationships that you see everywhere you look. So yeah, I think monogamy is actually unhealthy because it almost always involves one person giving up something that makes them who they are, where open relationships (as I understand them) are more about encouraging people to be who they are.
A quick footnote on sex, of all the people I know in open relationships (which is 3 couples, 2 gay 1 straight) and including my own open relationship promiscous sex only occurs in one of them and that’s only with one partner in that relationship. I think that a lot of young or immature people see an open relationship as being able to have sex with whoever you want and still have a boyfriend, when the reality is that the sex isn’t important.
I always tell friends and family that, “cheating on someone is the one absolute thing that i will never do.” ive been cheated on and i know how much it hurts. so i am totally for monogamy. im 18 and i can still i have never cheated on anyone that i have gone out with. i know im still young but its a mistake i will never make…
well. i’ll be honest.
ive had 6 lover’s in my life. the first and last were lifes. the 4 in the middle were shit. all trophy’s. but being an x international male model may have had something to do with that’ i bartened for yrs in gay bars took a very long time for me to except that men are just men and boys wil be boys. i watched for yrs 8 and a half to be exact at what was really happining in gay mens relationships but was too stuborn to believe that all men are like that. but when u see 2 guys kiss on new yrs eve and act like they will be forever together then watch hundreds of couples show off there presents and brag the week after chritmas then a week later the submisive one comes in gets drunk crys about being dumped {by the way submisive doesnt allways mean bottom} ive been there when the bottom shuts you down and your not getting any you tend to bend quite a bit! then the dom in the relationship starts showing up with 18 to 30 other guys trying to find hotter more hung tops bottoms or vers then without an once of remorse does the exact same thing yr after yr after yr you should learn something! i watched it for all those yrs and what i saw was the 2 guys that took in some strange once in a wile after the sex got alittle bland are the same guys that are still together today!
some of the couples im talking about are still very happy still bonded and nothing could break these guys up. i finally had to get over my selfrichus ass and learn . after 42 yrs it was about time. im very happy in my own skin still hot still great in bed and found it odd that once i didnt want a boyfriend they just started coming at me from so ,many directions that i cant handle them all. i just dont take myself so serius anymore. just being happy and having fun chasing my goals in life. if somebody jumps on board then its ment to be untill then im happy with one guy i play with regularly we dont have jeliusy in our relationship and never will. it works. but not for everyone. just remember one point. theres no place for neediness or jeliusy in any relationship rather manogamous or open. work very hard to except that and be comfortable in your own skin. oh by the way. if you want to know where the focus is in any ocasion watch the eyes. farrah fawcett taught me that and she was right. if a so called st8 man has a hot chic on his arm and his eyes are on some guys croch when she’s not looking…..hmmm… think about it. somebodys going to get hurt and it aint the guys ass or crotch he’s looking at. im writing a book
good luck men and be happy
diesel
wow!! hard , crazy and no one on this days dont wanna do that anymore. because sex after 80s gt so ez to get any any any where u going, Bf , relation shp on this days, huhmmmmmm!! yes we do have out there, but its hard to find. because anywhere u going u will find ez sex. i know because i do !!!! i dont beleive anymore……..sorry.
I would only date guys that feel strongly and positive about monogamy. I have a busy life and having one person in my life who is “a rock” is important to me. Physical and emotional intimacy are high on my wish list. Also, I really hate using condoms – even though it’s necessary in today’s world. I’d love to be with someone I can love and trust – and not have to use condoms! And I do know that quality guys are out there!
Where there’s a will, There’s a way.
Being gay and having interacted with many gay people I have never met not one couple that was true to their partner. Then there is the so called open relationship. Why bother to have a relationship if your just gonna go fuck with someone else? I am not for gay rights for any group of people on this earth. Being gay is about private bedroom issues not all the fucking world needing to know how big your dick is or how handsome, muscular or whatever else you might try to define it as. I personally would not care if gays were put to death like they were before. Gay culture is disgusting, degrading to life, and in all just seems to be tearing at morality in general. People in ancient cultures somehow knew or had witnessed this firsthand and set up laws to do away with us. Honestly I know there is no way to control being gay or straight but the loud mouth of the gay culture will be its downfall but then again the downfall is on its way and there is nothing the gay culture can do about that. I am not picking on the gay culture we are our own worst enemy and we will destroy ourselves. I also believe that there will be other factors in the downfall of man. Even if you take religion out of the equation all the road signs lead to one direction. Down. Have a great day!
Wow that last comment is coming from some UNHAPPY dude. Love yourself brother. Then you will find the good things in life. The crap comes from LACK of love.
Peace and OUT.